I love seeing couples get exactly the wedding they are after. This year I was asked about elopement!
This couple had been together for a long time and ‘didn’t want a fuss’ plus some difficulties within the family would make it difficult to easily do a celebration with family and friends. For themselves though, they wanted to formalise their love and committment to each other by getting maried. They choose to have a romantic holiday together which included getting married, just the two of them, at the start. They planned to tell their children when they were all together, in person, on their return. A BBQ with friends & family would be organised soon after.
I have caught up with them since and they are totally delighted to be Mr & Mrs! They captured the memories with photos and have loved sharing their story. Family reaction has mostly been positive but in reality, whatever we do, some will have an opinion of how we could have done it different, of if we should have done it all – that’s life.
Your reason’s may be quite different but if planning a big wedding is just not what you want, there is no reason why you can’t still have a very special and intimate wedding. All you actually require to be legally married is the licence, a celebrant (or registry office), two witnesses (not necessarily anyone you know) and the two of you.
When couples meet with me, I often give them some questions to consider. The idea being, not so much for me to hear the answers, but to help them both discover what they want their wedding to look like. These apply whatever style of wedding you want. Here are some of these:
- How will you capture memories?
- Who do you want with you on your wedding day?
- Who will be your witnesses (you don’t need to ‘know’ them)?
- If you choose a registry wedding or elopement, who needs (do you want) to know beforehand (no-one is an option – your choice)?
- How will you announce your marriage, when, to whom?
My personal view on marriage (or part of), is that it is a declaration of love and commitment. It is far more than a piece of paper or any type of celebration that you choose to have around that. Marriage is about making a very sincere commitment and requires a lot of dedication to keep it going strong…from this day forward.
Too often folk don’t get married (even though they want to) because all they can see is ‘how much’ the popular style of wedding will cost. If getting married is important, you can do it very simply. That may well be disappearing for a holiday, or simply up to the court, and coming back married. Whatever you do though, make it what you want it to be. Good on you if you don’t want a huge fuss and/or want to save on cost. You can still celebrate your marriage, capture the event and proudly retell your special day…from this day forward.
- Legal requirements need to be meet (be aware that if travelling outside of NZ these may vary). If there have been previous marriages/civil unions, evidence of their dissolution is required (again if travelling outside of NZ double check their requirements).
- Many photographer’s offer an ‘hourly rate’ option so you do not need to get a ‘full wedding package’ for a much smaller event. Maybe you could get it recorded or a DVD of this much smaller ceremony/signing and then show that at your ‘announcement’ if you a planning a gathering.
- Some couples still choose to do the full wedding attire for themselves with elopement weddings – entirely up to you to choose. Always, your wedding is your own.
- There may be some family or friends that you want to announce your marriage to personally, or with a special touch.
- And yes, some may be disappointed or even offended by your choice, but it is your choice and, at the end of the day, whatever the style, you are married!…from this day forward. Congratulations!
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Life events are worth celebrating
